DWEEBISIS

Stars with Adopted International Kids as Novelty Pets to Boost Career - Narcissism

2012-01-20T20:51:00.000-08:00

Stars with adopted international kids as novelties to boost their careers is like adopting a sophisticated breed of cat to show off in front of your friends and neighbors.....like choosing an exotic Balinese over an American mane coon. C'mon, is this not lame out the ass? Aren't there a bunch of American mane coon kittens who need a new home in America? And where are all the Europeans and Asians to adopt poor American kids? Where the hell are they at - with over 150 million of poor and diverse Americans to choose from? What a bunch of hypocrites.

I can understand both Angelina and Madonna pulling stupid shit like this...because well, over hyped unattractive - glib - stuck up - talentless - insecure personality-less entertainers will do anything for attention...but....Katherine Heigl....and ...SANDRA Bullock? Shouldn't the latter really be smarter than that? Go buy a Siamese cat or a poor American kid!

Seriously Why - Narcissism

2012-01-10T22:13:00.000-08:00

Never will I - and the whopping 76 Facebook fans of "Words Cannot Describe How Unfunny Ricky Gervais Is" - understand as to why this man exists as an entertainer and celebrity....in America. Am I really in hell already or this guy seriously, considerably funny?

DISCLAIMER: Ladies, don't look too close, you might turn traditionally gay.

NO NO NO NO NO NO.

According to celebritynetworth.com, the comedian and entertainer has at least 80 million dollars. That's 80 million cold hard American cash.....special thanks to 10 percent of Americans, 80 percent of liberal celebrities and all David Letterman fans. No one wonder Icky Ricky is always laughing and smiling...while robustly showing off his bad ass position on what he thinks of God. Personally, I think God has horrible taste over British humor...and well, among other things among British people. And I just assumed this fatty and mushy combo of tiny peen and testicles had as much in assets as Tonya Harding while anxiously and desperately trying to sell what ever the hell he's trying to sell. What does this guy do again?

NEWS FLASH: Michael Moore is just another Fat Bastard...who already knows already ... okay?

2011-12-26T21:58:00.000-08:00

On October 6, I attended another OWS General Assembly at Zuccotti Park...obviously a very unselfish thing to do. Shortly after I got there, some of us began rallying while I was holding up my unique, singular -- anything remotely conveying w-a-g-e-s --- sign that read "Seriously It's the Wages". Low and behold, I happened to see Micheal Moore walking parallel to me almost shoulder to shoulder. I anxiously went up to him and asked if he could mention the issue with low wages the next time he's ever interviewed by a major news network. Say, the next time CNN interviews him.... and Tim Robbins...in Zuccotti Park. I then said, "I'm a house keeper with a masters...but what's been harder for me has more to do with earning low wages in NYC." Moore interjected and said "Sure, yeah, I mean, it's not just about jobs ya know..." as he walks toward a CNN crew and Tim Robbins. Naturally, I followed along with all the other fans of OWS and Michael Moore. As we all gathered, while Moore met up with Tim Robbins and CNN, I happily said, "Thanks for being here Mike, we appreciate it!" A few moments later, I started yelping, "Please, Michael, talk about the wages....don't forget about the wages, Michael." I sort of kept doing the chant/yelp thing along with "C'mon, man, people shouldn't be making eight bucks an hour....no less than 13!" which went on throughout the ten or fifteen minute interview with CNN. My yelping sort of compelled others to do the same except their's were more along the lines of "We love you Michael Moore....We love you Michael Moore....and Tim Robbins too!"

About a short while after, as Moore was trying to hail a cab, I went up to him again and said "Mr. Moore, I'm sorry to be redundant about wages and all, but it is .....(a pretty serious issue)" "Iyy know already, the lady with masters who's a house keeper, THANK you." I was a little taken a back a bit. He seemed pretty annoyed. I then basically said, "Man, you know what... go fuck your fat, stupid self....like you really give a shit anyway. You and Robert Reich....or Bernie Sanders or Joe Biden...that goof ball Barney Frank... are hypocrites anyway. Don't you know that it really is the fucking wages, , why don't you bother mention that after you repeat the same bull shit about how much you hate the big banks and rich people who make off with more money than your fat ass. Oh and stop eating so much....it's clouding your common sense when it comes to blabbing ambiguously about poverty and Goldman Sachs all the time. So yeah.... fat - so...up yours!" Okay, I'm lying, but that's what I should have said instead of, "Sorry, keep up the good work, man."

Progressive Narcissism

2011-05-19T17:56:00.000-07:00

Excerpt from Betsy Reed, The Nation,

"So far, French complaints about the ritually humiliating (and admittedly tacky) perp walk aside, the Dominique Strauss-Kahn rape scandal has cast the American system of justice in a flattering light. When alerted to the incident, the New York City police were clever, trustworthy and efficient; the hotel managers reacted as humane and responsible employers; the alleged victim, a Guinean immigrant, showed courage in the most stressful of circumstances and her resolve was rewarded when prosecutors took her claim seriously. As New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd wrote, “It’s an inspiring story about America, where even a maid can have dignity and be listened to when she accuses one of the most powerful men in the world of being a predator.”"

I think it would be an even more inspiring story if it was about these two hags, who work for a couple of increasingly digressive "progressive" newspapers, accuse a couple of hot pool boys for chasing them around the pool - begging to massage their feets and suck their toes!

What was Arnie thinking?

2011-05-18T19:32:00.000-07:00

The biggest insult of all --- beyond adultry --- is obviously the blind and drunk labido of the dumbo-nater.
Just utterly wrong that I'm starting to think that Shriver's cheek bones and...even Joy Behar's neck line aren't so shabby after all.

I don't really take America seriously - that it's easy to ask stupid questions to Oprah and Condi - Narcissism

2011-01-18T18:35:00.000-08:00

Who wouldn't love a guy from the UK with a CV that pops and shimmers of "America's Got Talent", not to mention EDITOR of the One and Only: Daily Mirror (with a few minor... fraudulent slips ups - shmip ups) all with his very substative and deliberate and unabashedly VAIN stunning style of journalism...including the audacity to publicly ban Heather Mills and Madonna for LIFE... ?! I'm guessing most of America and Northern Europe, but hey there's plenty of media execs who KNOW what to feed a bunch of people who eat a late dinner around 9PM Eastern and leave the TV on after watching the Arena.

I'm predicting 3-6 months tops..or 3-6 years depending on the adaptation among amenable Americans...at least among die hard Ricky Gervais fans.

Nothing radiates Anarchy Narcissism like Julian Assange.

2010-12-21T21:42:00.000-08:00

No one in the history of Western Narcissism has ever pulled what Julian Assange has accomplished and that is, besides publishing classified information at his discretion and leisure, being thee most smug, narc'y and nabby Britishy prick in the universe. That and he had the audacity to tell a reporter, "You blew it!" right before he walked out AGAIN --- when in fact this guy could not have possibly ever been blown.
Just not possible.

Royality Narcissism is so passe.

2010-11-16T17:55:00.000-08:00

As I watched CNN and listened to Richard Quest yell the announcement of this century's Royal Wedding, I wondered - with the exception of some liberal European lovin - and mostly conservative - douche bags, who in America gives a royal shit?

Maybe I'm being too glib towards Brits in general, since I think many lack personality appeal like Tracey Morgan lacks black urban comedy, but I could swear "royalty" has had more to do with actually doing something useful for the benefit of lots of people in a community or say, entire country...instead for show or ceremonial purposes.

Hypocritical Narcissism

2010-11-16T04:17:00.000-08:00

What's yuckier than getting a Happy Ending from a middle aged, Asian masseuse? Giving one to a middle aged, unattractive comedian...who's not that funny.

Or worse

President Mistake

2010-09-18T20:58:00.000-07:00

Just another Kodak moment when you realize that you've helped make a very bad mistake for Washington and everyone else in the US.

Nekked, Blood, Flesh Fettish Narcissism

2010-08-17T19:07:00.000-07:00

Whether it be "True Blood" Series creator, Alan Ball or the likes of Charlaine Harris - who also kind of helped fuel the blood lust fest among perverted, socio'esque HBO viewers via her novel, "The Southern Vampire Mysteries", I'd like to personally throw a brick at each of them for helping to create one of the most over rated, overtly dramatic, blood gushing, blood curdling crap on cable television...which is about as tacky and gross as Showtime's new series, "The Big C" for depicting Laura Linny in depicting her, eh, erm, "Big C"....that or HBO.

European Rockstar Complex - Narcissism

2009-12-27T08:35:00.000-08:00

Nothing says better than "N'owl if you excuse me, I've got more reporters to ten tu, kay, thank you..." than this video right here

"Passenger Jasper Schuringa told CNN that with the aid of the cabin crew, he helped subdue and isolate Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, who was charged Saturday with trying to destroy a plane.

Schuringa of Amsterdam, Netherlands, said he was traveling to Florida to visit friends. The journey aboard Northwest Airlines Flight 253 had been mundane, he said. But as the plane neared its destination of Detroit, Michigan, he heard a pop that sounded like a firecracker going off, and someone started yelling: "Fire! Fire!"

Wow, that's awesome. I'm really glad that there seems to be more people who act swiftly unlike many from 911. So, kudos for this young starry eyed Dutch Narcissist. Now, ICE, if you would kindly please keep an eye on this guy in Fort Lauderdale with respect to gainful employment in the biggest industry of South Florida, the private yachting industry, I'd appreciate it.
Dude says that he's "visiting" friends. I don't know, could be a typical excuse.
Thanks.

Gawker's Nick Denton Sucks Ass In The Typical Britishy Stark Kind of Way.

2009-12-08T20:59:00.000-08:00

As much as I've checked out Gawker.com, I never knew who owned the blog. But then it hit me, who better to put out bland logo designs per blog under it's "parent" name than a Brit. I googled some info, and would you know, a British flamer own's this cash cow, Gawker.com. How original.

Maybe I'm being a bit stereotypical and obviously far reaching, since I've had the displeasure of meeting many ~~fortunate white illegal aliens~~ Brits in the private yachting industry, but Brits do tend to suck at graphic design (and obviously the culinary arts) than other internationals in general. Obviously, I forgot about the fact that as mundane and stark as a British, albeit flamingly gay, journalist can be compared to an American one, if he's successful enough at putting smut out (not necessarily a lot of bloody talent to do so), while smooging with stupid American investors who blushingly go ga-ga over British anything before hiring a bunch of pansy-ass, snarky (starving) American and Aussie writers, I can see how a ninny like Nick Denton can crank out half assed, half-witted journalism filled with snarky diatribes over the most mundane subject matters and people of all time. If you have an unlimited number of American and Aussie dumb fucks with nothing else to do or read, then hey, c'awsh in baybey.

Lately, it seems as if Gunker is becoming a bit more Perezy and Chelsea'ish. One journalist felt the urge to pass on the torch of the mocking of Sarah Jessica Parker's horse shaped face. Apparently, Sarah Jessica Parker doesn't know her place relative to unattractive, depressed journalists and flamboyantly gay, ambivalent blog owners who are even more unseemly looking.

Google: "Eric Schmidt" + "Seriously a Douche Bag."

2009-12-06T21:08:00.000-08:00

Words to/from the Wiseless:
"If you have something that you don't want anyone to know, maybe you shouldn't be doing it in the first place."

Gold Diggers Have Feelings Too.

2009-12-06T18:38:00.000-08:00

Tiger Wood's wife, What's Her Name is suing her soon to be ex in California in pursuit of more money. Nothing screams, Gold Digging Revenge, more than the state of CA..and white Swedish nobodies canoodling with famous black dudes before divorcing and suing the pants off these idiots.

"Erica Brown"

2009-12-04T16:05:00.000-08:00

Is it just me or is CNN execs really diggin those mousey brunette, chimp monkey'ish types as much FOX execs dig those over highlighted bleached blondes with tiny tinker bell noses and smooshy faces and brain cells.

Now that's the kind of diversity I love about guys between the ages of 27 and 32. Mmm..

Heather Armstrong is a Dooce Bag

2009-11-24T17:42:00.000-08:00

It may be an interesting vid all in all, but I only spent about three minutes watching it before I had to exit out and becoming nausiated by her half hearted attempt at saying something witty and funny. I didn't want to experience that cringed feeling either. But hey- Bon Appetit!

http://fora.tv/2009/04/01/Heather_Armstrong_It_Sucked_and_Then_I_Cried

Tolerated Narcissism [because she's Latino/Black/Mixed/Definitely Not White or Anglo Decent

2009-10-02T14:51:00.000-07:00

Do I really need to say more other than the fact that if I were sitting inches away from her with hair covering 75 percent of her face [The View/Oct 2nd], I would pull down the shades completely for the sake of sanity.

Stupid - Narcissism and News Flash: Brad Pitt is also unattractive.

2009-08-14T20:44:00.001-07:00

Dig in...

Do I really need to harp over how stupid Brad Pitt is? I mean, really, do I?

What's that, I must be high? I must be crazy to say such things over what you BP fans and Bill Maher deem as an intelligent, talented, philanthropic actor...who's, what, hot? People like Brad Pitt have always reminded me of the possibility that I'm only experiencing Hell, and that I'm the only soul alive.

Bill Maher invited the aggrandized and incoherent cele'billy on his show tonight, while having sacrificed his last ounce of pride pretending to dig the dude's political views on poverty, pissing mother nature off with short levies, pot taxes, and yeah, legalizing pot and stuff.

One thing is pretty clear still, Branjelina has been smart enough to use the ignorance of those in the media to support their naive political attitudes, living habits, shitting out babies habits, and horrid fashion statements.

Oh and Bill Maher, you and the Pres are no elites. Elitists, maybe..but both of you pretty much remind me of Brad Pitt anyway. Then again, at least the pres sort of looks smart and handsome out the three of you. I think I'll drink some water down now.

Unattractive Narcissists Who Forget They Are Unattractive and Much Older

2009-08-09T19:07:00.000-07:00

Larry David's New Girlfriend

Larry David's Former Wife

Larry David

To all gold digging American women who make up 60 percent of the rest of the female population in the US - while pretending to actually love/want/like guys like Larry King or Larry David - you are:

Sick. Twisted. Pathetic. Gross. Disgusting. Cowardly. Cheap. Dumb. Nasty. Vile. Fucking Ignorant.
Basically, You deserve Death.

Gay Discrimination Narcissism and Bill Pohovey is not the sharpest twig at WPLG.

2009-08-06T08:45:00.000-07:00

Although I'm not really a fan of the gay community especially gay men -- definitely from Gap Inc., it's pretty fair for anyone on this planet, or say the Western world, to realize and point out that this mofo has obviously been discriminated by his employer, WPLG News in Miami.

Charles Perez, a leading weeknight actor, who co-anchored the show with Laurie Jennings on Miami's ABC Local Channel 10, has recently been demoted and has now filed a suit against the company including his perverted boss, Bill Pohovey.

Excerpt from Claim Filed by Charles Perez [click to enlarge]

Note to Bill Pohovey: Hey Genius, I dunno, but I think you just forked over a ton of a money to Charles Perez..along with your career.

How do you say "rapido demo-tio-no ante terminado" in Russian?

Claim Filed by Charles Perez

Madge Narcissism

2009-07-30T20:22:00.001-07:00

The most feeble of American female celebrity narcissists to date, Madonna had the misfortune of having her abs misrepresented yet again by someone from the paparazzi which was done by photo shopping one of her arms with more shadow than the other one just so they both look symmetrical. Good going, Genius. Now, one arm looks fatter the other one.

If nature can create abs like this through the help of anorexia, pill popping, gym, and her type of persona, then I guess we all should be fortunate that more anorexic, pill popping, nar'cy people are detoured from going to the gym on a regular basis - especially since most of us hate having to go the gym and being picked up by guys who look like Madonna anyway.

Pointless Narcissism

2009-07-30T17:13:00.003-07:00

AOL Poll:

What's your take on the meeting?
It seems pretty pointless 58%
It was a good idea 42%

Total Votes: 6,772

I think this is pretty much what happens when someone who's black, arrogant, naive, who happens to be the prez of some big ass country - while behaving like the 15 year old he is trying to explain Sociology 101 to the media and you: your gonna get a Beer Summit.

Haw-tay Narcissism

2009-07-24T19:19:00.000-07:00

Yet again, on this three year old, under-rated-minded blog of mine, I had completely failed to post anything about Gerard Butler of the UK. I mean, I know 300 was a joke...including most Brits, definitely not Meet The Spartans, but what in the hell was I doing at that time?

As the Pixies would say, where was my mind?

Especially during:

[sucking air in] Hwwwoooo, naught'ay hawt'ay.

Seriously, wow.

Why - I never seen a such tall man with a, you know, cough, er, tall order. Of. Things, stuff, thigns. I just forgot what I was about to say.

Bloody Hell-

What just happened?

Cupcake Narcissism in America

2009-07-23T08:52:00.000-07:00

When I was about eight or nine years old, I remember liking bands like Duran Duran, Depeche Mode, Men at Work, and The Clash...which is probably why God has punished me by allowing me to work in the private yachting industry with a bunch English internationals - many who lack much in life like hints of skin color and individual personas. But I digress. When I was a tweenager, I thought these people were a joke..and that it couldn't possibly get worse. By the time I was fourteen, I was into the Violent Femms and stuff like REM...things were looking up. At least I didn't like Debbie Gibson or say, The Back Street Boys.

Then came Britney Spears and NSYNC. And then after them, Limp Bizkit and Kid Rock. If these people were around in the mid eighties, and if any of my friends liked them, I would've become a real life bully besides on cyber space.
And yet here you and I are living in America - bombarded with the likes of Camp Rock, Jonas Brothers, Jessica Simpson with now even Worse Country Music, Good Charlotte, The Killers, Royskopp...etc. The sign of the times.

Fortunately for bad musicians and singers, there are tons of dumb Americans and Europeans to pay their salaries and horrible ways of living. Obviously gluttony and ignorance is the highest than it's ever been in the States - which has helped pave the way for more of this shit - like American Idol.

This atrocity may have something to do with our own creative tastes withering away by way of over population, the ever impending greed that comes with the over shitting out babies issue, online universities, and an increasing number of us who are just too busy trying to survive on low wages that we all forget what good taste is in the Arts. Ya think?

Chelsea Handler is still not 33 or younger.

2009-07-22T21:22:00.000-07:00

Chelsea Older on her severly over rated show Chelsea Lately just asked a guest [that guy on Alias...Mike Va'something] about his age.
He replied that he was forty. Would you believe she belted out laughing in surprise? I'd assume she would wink and nod at the guy as if they're in a league of their own or something. The irony of it all.

Douche Bag Narcissism

2009-07-19T16:28:00.001-07:00

No, it's not Robin Williams. Who better to brag about dissing a US president, albeit George Bush, by dodging a hug before being congradulated by the former Senator Obama -than none other than Bono. Bono, while self ingratiating himself, brings up the story about how he successfully dodged an impending hug by Bush on some UK TV show - including the part about Obama whispering to him, "Nice move on the hug dodge". Bono also mentions that he's basically - more or less a Coward.

One thing I love about D Bags is their uncanny honesty in depricating themselves right before bragging about dissing someone else.
Loves it!

Bono Disses W

Dweeb Narcissism

2009-07-13T21:29:00.001-07:00

By default of each and every character's lack of physical attractiveness and charisma - including the script, I have never watched a full 60 seconds of Entourage.

The show is so over-hyped that I refuse to spend anymore effort on typing about it other than posting a snagged link of reference:

Why Entourage Sucks.

Arianna Huffington Narcissism Again

2009-07-10T19:46:00.001-07:00

(Article excerpt and image narcissistically stolen from Gawker.com)

Back in 2004, Arianna Huffington didn't have a well-funded, fast-growing internet publishing empire. So she could afford to call the hiring of foreign workers a "crime against America." You'll never guess what Huffington is doing today.

Phallus Narcissism Is Sometimes Very Unattractive.

2009-07-05T16:50:00.000-07:00

It's as if we are all watching a bad, cheesy D flick that has been going on for way too long, even if most of us aren't paying much attention or buying horrible looking clothes.

Dov Charney is the CEO of American Apparel in case anyone is surprised to know and not throwing up. Charney has got to be thee most successful sleeze ball to still own any company in any part of this planet. It's like he's straighout of some drug themed movie that only Cinemax might air, I say might.

Charney not only has bad taste in clothes - along with himself - but hiring illegal aliens is pretty toolish, even for an illegal himself.

And all the while, AA touts it's clothing line as being "Made with Pride in LA". About 1800 factory workers have been accused of being illegal...which was not realized by ICE until 2009.

I guess if ICE could give a hay about illegal aliens working in the yachting industry in South Florida...then why not look the other way with American ~~Shit~~ Apparel. I mean, it is, like, the upcoming Gap of the 21st century, no? No ! I love China, I'm sorry China, please accept my apologies about dissing Chinese made clothes from America's favorite retailer, The Gap. I am So Sorry.

Still though, Dov Charney is a character through and through. And when character and a big, ugly, smelly phallus goes hand in hand [not just literally], things can get pretty unattractive.

Like photos of Dov Charney:

Where The Hell Have I Been - Narcissism

2009-07-02T19:31:00.000-07:00

Mmmm. Wow.

I wish more illegal aliens looked more like this.

I would even be the first to say, "Tear than wall, Mr. Obama!"

Fat ass is so lucky.

Indywood Narcissism Gone Bad.

2009-06-28T16:01:00.000-07:00

For those cynical bloggers who complain about living among a culture of idiots, my first response is to say, "No- you're wrong, dude. Because I live in the US, where many of the most creative and unique and innovative and - embulient people live and thrive! Gulp down some Zoloft!"

But then there's the movie, Juno - The Royal Tenenbaums of 2007 - filled with it's luscious quirk and - mundane cynicism - and - indy'ish - and pixie'ish pith you can feast on, if you're into stuff like that.

I've seen and heard so much rave about this film, but never bought the appeal especially after seeing segs of the movie's trailer: pastey, pixie girl gets pregnant while attempting a snarky, sarcastic attitude over her new found drama - while being stuck in her permanent fat suit - while enduring an ill'ful crush on her class mate who impregnated her: a pale, geeky, under developed teenager who could be the next Sonic Youth star if society continues to ignore him.

Today, I happened to turn to one of the HBO channels and saw the latter part of Juno. Three minutes later as I mumbled "I refuse to watch stupid shit like I do every Friday and Sunday night", I turned to channel - would you believe -Fox News [CNN is doing yet another MJ Tribute and Black in America Part Two back to back...and I'll be damned to even watch anything MSNBC before 10 pm.]
But then, I thought since I don't have anything remotely snarky to say on my blog, I'll write about Juno. And how much everyone from the North West under 50 pretty much sucks ass when it comes to reality and actual art.

I mean, look, I still like Sonic Youth, but you don't have to buy every single album before and after Experimental Jet Set, Trash and No Star in order to have legitimate taste in music. And just because you may sorta dig some of the 'indy' films like Pulp Fiction or say, Femme Fatale or..any type of Fellini/Bergman/Jane Campion film that you were forced to watch in film class, does - not - mean you have to accept whatever some misguided movie critic dishes out about a movie like Juno.

But since I've already wasted way too much time and energy typing a shitty diatribe about a shitty movie filled with such liberal, elitist pithy, I'll just borrow someone else's critique on it:

"Juno is a twee vector for Diablo Cody's "wit" and "humor" masquerading as a dramedy about a teenage girl's pregnancy.

These are the facts.

I don't want to rage apoplectic about the failure of Rotten Tomatoes or of film criticism in general. Metacritic, another review compilation site, is considerably less sanguine about Juno's quality. But Juno's success is real--it's been nominated for three Golden Globes, including Best Comedy and Best Screenplay, and is apparently a serious Oscar-contender. And I do think that Juno's ascendance is indicative of larger trends at work in the world.

"We're drowning in quirk," Michael Hirschorn pronounced in The Atlantic a few months ago. Hirschorn was too indiscriminate in his condemnation, lumping The Royal Tenenbaums and Flight of the Conchords together with cultural obscenities like Garden State and Napoleon Dynamite. But he's onto something. He's right to be skeptical of the kind of aesthetic that satisfies itself with reference and nostalgia, with what the British would call twee, dainty affectations that signify nothing.

The cynical emptiness at the heart of movies like Juno speaks to the triumph of a kind of fakery that's become endemic to a lot of artistic endeavors."

Reference:
Why Juno Sucks Donkey Balls and Why It Matters,
http://foodgoesinhere.blogspot.com/
[no direct link]

Consolation Narcissism

2009-06-26T20:04:00.000-07:00

Bill Maher on HBO, episode 159, "We have a quite a show tonight [split second pause, God forbid]..are - you excited??", Bill says in a cranky funk.

Crowd goes something like this, "Oops, shit, everybody praise and clap, hurry....yaaahhhh, wooooohh[thundering applause]!"

Bill Maher then mentions Cameron Diaz. "In 1994, I had the pleasure of seeing Cameron Diaz for the first time in 'The Mask' [Bill's face before plastic surgery]. I thought she was the prettiest woman in the movies. I still do."

Ah, Bill, I'm sure Cameron still thinks you're still hot too.
Gulp.

Real Sex is Painful. Period.

2009-06-25T20:43:00.000-07:00

Real Sex, is an HBO series that basically documents individual sexual behavior within pop culture. It is also one of the most disturbingly, train wreckingly hideous shows that I have ever laid my eyes upon every Friday and Sunday. Maybe I'm being too critical, especially since I've seen a lot of steroid induced gay men on professional porn sites. But with all the saggy and flabby stuff everywhere, and the hair, male boney arms and skinny pelvic bones, it's just really hard to keep my hands up any longer.

Micheal Jackson Narcissism

2009-06-25T18:15:00.000-07:00

American Icon Remembered

Pedofile Freak Forgotten

Micheal Jackson, albeit an accused pedofile, is one lucky man after dying.
I mean, seriously. How amazing it is for a man, albeit one of the top musical sensations in the history of the world..I guess, who [visibly] had odd relations with children - along with his image no less - to never don a permanent damaging reputation. It is Simply Amazing.

Is it America? Is it money? Is it a farce? Am I just a jaded asshole? Or are there a lot of pedofiles in the media who know some PR ploys like it's nobody's business?

Pedofilia is believed to be an unfortunate genetic mutation that afflicts -besides young and innocent kids - more people, men in particular, than many may realize. If MJ suffered from this type of disease, should he be remembered as a sick and twisted monster? Or is just better to portray MJ as a one and only American icon.
Because, damn, I am very confused.

Rumors say that MJ may have contributed to his own demise via drugs. So, let me get this straight, pop star + interest in kids + allegations of pedofilia + potential prison + suppression + drugs to deal with suppression = Bye Bye, World.

Btw, Farrah Fawcett is dead today at 62.

Fu*kwit Narcissism

2009-06-23T20:59:00.000-07:00

News flash: Perez Hilton gets pegged for calling someone else a faggot.

Perez Hilton's ~~celebrity cliche~~ Letter to his fans:

From the heart:

"Words can hurt. I know that very well, from both sides of the fence. The other night in Toronto, after feeling physically threatened by a verbally abusive Will.I.Am of the Black Eyed Peas, I chose the most hurtful word I know to hurl at him. I was in an out-of-the ordinary situaton and used a word that I would not utter under normal circumstances. My intention - however misguided it may have been - was to stand up for myself and tell this belligerent man that I had enough of his badgering and was not going to continue to let him berate and intimidate me. I wanted to hurt him with the word I chose, not anyone else. Unfortunately, the one who got hurt was me and, subsequently, a lot of other people. I wish none of it had happened. I can't take it back. I did what I thought was best at the moment to stand up for myself in a non-violent yet still assertive way. Clearly, I am not homophobic. Also, I am not nor have I ever claimed to be a spokesperson for the gay community. I am just speaking for myself, a gay man. One who is labeled "flamboyant" in the media. An American that is not granted equal rights under the law. I will continue to speak out for equality and I will continue to say things that upset both gay people and straight people. Who I am as a person and what I do for a living are two separate things. I've come to terms with all my incongruities and am proud of who I am and what I do. In closing, words can hurt. But words should not provoke someone to violence. Stripped away from the mask of Perez Hilton, I have been extremely bothered by the public reaction to my assault. Violence should never be condoned with such statements as "It's Karma" or "I don't believe in violence but….". In fact, several television and radio shows over the past couple of days echoed the sentiment "He had it coming". Would they have said the same thing if I was a woman? Would I have "deserved it" if I had been stabbed? Or shot? Or killed? I was attacked from behind without warning and repeatedly punched in the head in a cold, disgusting and unnecessarily violent manner by Polo Molina, the road manager for the Black Eyed Peas, who I did not even speak with that evening. I did not share any words with him and his assault on me was completely unprovoked. I feel like everything happens for a reason and I leave this traumatic experience as a person with more compassion. Specifically, there was an instance last year when actor Jesse Metcalfe was attacked outside of a Hollywood nightclub by a fellow entertainer. I did not condone the violence, but I did make light of that situation. I regret that. Sincerely. There are many ways to deal with disagreements, both good and bad, but violence is never the answer. Never. I now know that first-hand. It should not be condoned, promoted or accepted. No one "deserves" to be the victim of violence. No one "has it coming." NO ONE. And victims should not be ridiculed. I look forward to marching for equality in Washington, D.C. this October. And I look forward to standing up for my rights in a Toronto courtroom shortly, as I fully intend to seek every lawful remedy against the man that attacked me."

- Perez Hilton
June 23, 2009
Los Angeles, California

Homoerotic Narcissism

2009-06-18T18:28:00.000-07:00

Two magazines: American GQ and British GQ.

Can you tell which pics are from which zine?

There are five pics of American GQ models and five of their Brit counterparts.

Dig in, ladies. Gulp.

Hint: Latex, Rubber, Elasticity : Britshy, Europe, Queer

Geez, and to think Bill Maher was just joshing about the ~~faggotization~~ feminization of America.

Damn Narcissism

2009-06-18T17:20:00.001-07:00

Obviously, this one is eating well and gay.

Skinny Narcissism

2009-06-18T16:45:00.001-07:00

As many times as I've heard and read about Tori Spelling being 'ugly' in a myriad of ways - even to the point of calling her a man, I have never agreed with those depicitons of her. I've defended her..and Sarah Parker.
Until now. No matter how petite or large framed a womam really is underneath the fat, no woman is attractive in skin and bones. It is unattractive. Again, everyone, it is UNattractive. You are defeating the purpose.

But then again, it might more necessary to explain this notion to a bunch of fucked up males throughout the world.

Another jarring notion:
The issue with anorexia is correlated - by and large - with the issue of pedofilia. Surprise.

Black - Switch and Bait - Narcissism

2009-06-15T18:06:00.000-07:00

Apparently, the Obamas and thier advisors are trying to get us all to like Jazz in the Caucasion House by adding some Gringo Juice to the mix. The Obama camp tries the switch and bait method by introducing Jazz to the White House via white jazz musicians. Not that I detest jazz or blacks, well, besides some..or maybe many.
How clever.

Dickweed Narcissism Is Painfully Not Funny.

2009-06-12T20:41:00.001-07:00

PJ Orourke, who must think he's a comedian in every other blurbo that rots out of his mouth, was on this week's HBO with Bill Maher. Orourke made a fat joke about strip searches, basically that he didn't want to "do" a fatty. I could swear that as a rule: ugly, white, old men have no rights to judge anyone's image. Or strip search or screw fat/skinny/nutty/any other people on Earth.

Meanwhile, everyone on tonight's panel [the usual 3:1, lib:con ratio], including Bill Maher, was denouncing this week's shooters as "nut bags", "nut cases", or "crazies".

One thing that I can agree with many Europeans on, besides the fact that many of our cars suck, is that Americans in the media, left or right, are among the most ignorant people on earth when discussing coo coo people.

I mean, what is so intelligent about deeming people who may be disturbed or fanatical as being "nuts"? Or what about people who are suffering over mental issues or something painful in thier past? Isn't that like instigating some sort of self fulfilling prophecy...like making Bill Maher crazy and ashamed by telling him, "Look Bill, I get it. We all get it.
People from the Taliban GET IT. I mean shit, I'm sorry. I am SO sorry that you were born ugly...that you grew to become some ugly, nagging pestulant with a big schlong no less...while your only claim to [black] ass was after you took on Politically Incorrect. I get it. And I hope you get over it!"

I Have Never Laughed At/ About/ With David Letterman.

2009-06-11T21:09:00.000-07:00

Just as I fail to understand as to why 80 percent of the US deems the likes of Angelina Jolie as beautiful, I fail to see any humor in David Letterman. That and the notion that he would be attractive enough for some pathetic, desperate, and much younger woman to have sex with him before giving birth to his child.

Yet another implication to the demise of our society.
I'm not just being sarcastic.

If any woman can look at this video of David Letterman being a perve over women and their children without thinking about what he looks like naked while bonking a younger woman, then you're a better woman than I.

Woops, sorry.

Bill Fucking Maher - Narcissism

2009-06-10T20:33:00.000-07:00

Well, holy shiz. For three years, THREE YEARS, I've managed to forget to mention Bill Maher of all ~~narcissists~~ people. What was I thinking?

Bill Maher.

Bill Fucking Maher!

Where to begin to ~~gag~~ harp over this ladie's man.

What, with BM's fierce and sarcastic, witty dialogue about who-fucking-ever and what-fucking-ever. I guess that's because he's joshin.

I mean, c'mon. Bill's definitley not some fucking rabid maniac..as I've been fucking accused of.

Still though, we're talkin about Bill[now] Fucking [somebody, since being famous] Maher!

So with that, let's gaze down memory lane to the evolution
[or digression] of the images of Bill Maher. Shall we ladies? Let's dig in! I'll go first. No, wait, you go first. C'mon. Okay, fine!

I'm going in.

Mesmerizing.

Donald Trump Damage Control - Narcissism

2009-06-10T20:00:00.000-07:00

About a month after Trump made it clear that Miss California, Carrie Prejean, is/was here to stay, he's now made it clear that she's Out like celebrity-lighting eyeliner. He's also made it clear to "PLEASE, please don't punish Trump Towers, fellow dearest Gay Americans!" That is, since most TT patrons are gay males with bad taste in hotel accomodations.

So.

Say hello to a "Greener" version of Prejean [i.e. without the fake breasts and sex appeal],

Ms. Tamie Something.

Continually Eurking the Sh*t Out Of Me -- Narcissism

2009-06-08T20:00:00.001-07:00

Just like the boring and mundane Brits of the yachting industry, the boring and mundane British Newberry couple on ABC's The Newly Weds (actually, the hubby is a Brit, and the wife for an idiot and green card giver is American or Canadian) who, to no one's surprise, added no excitement or personality what SO EVA to any of the two segments thus far, were bent on voting off the Cox couple. Well actually, it was the Mr. Newberry who was bent on getting rid of the Cox couple, while his American or Canadian wife played along. Because low and behold, Mr. Cox was playing cheeky by blurting out, "Who do we want off already!" among some of the hubbies in the group.
Tsk, tsk, the arrogant, bloody wankar. What a loss of senses of humor among some of these people.

After reminiscing of my trials and tribulations in the yachting industry, I try to tell every American, including Brits, to never over-estimate people among the most dreary, cynical, uptight, boring, hyper-judgemental, and AC-deficient cultures of all time, England...well, that besides China.

In the embedded video, The Newberry Couple offers nothing but a good reason to be voted off and to continue to gag at British people and thier horrid, nar'cy accents.

Now if you will excuse me, I'm about to catch Nightline's most catty and sophisticated anchor ever, Martin Bashir! MM MMP.

Male Idiocy Narcissism

2009-06-07T17:00:00.001-07:00

Top 10: Tips To Keep A New Girl Interested

Page 1:

This article is brought to you by some douche bag who thinks he knows what women want.

OK, so you have successfully secured a **number of dates**, but that doesn’t mean the hard work is over. While she may like you, it doesn’t mean she will accept second best -- which makes this a very important stage of your relationship. If you allow complacency to creep in here, then you will pretty quickly be back on your own. You may cause her to lose interest and move on to someone else.

Translation: Because after a number of dates, the average pathetic male with a small penis will finally feel secure and more attractive.

Page 2: Have a distinct scent

Women have extremely sensitive olfactory senses, far better than men have. Smelling good is, therefore, an important way to keep a woman interested. Having a distinctive scent can be extremely evocative for her. It can make her feel safe, happy or excited, creating a series of positive associations with you. By having a scent that she recognizes as yours, every time she smells it she will think of you. It is a natural response, and one that can be used very effectively to keep her interested in you.

Translation: Take a bath. Every day. That, and cologne does not equate to deodorant.

Page 3: Know your kissing
Another important way to maintain her interest is to make sure you are a good kisser. Some dating authorities have suggested that the first kiss can make or break a relationship, emphasizing just how important to a woman a good kiss really is. A good kiss sends a surge of endorphins through her system, leaving her on a natural high. While she may not be ready to jump into bed with you, your ability to kiss may offer her a few enticing hints of what you are really capable of.

Translation: Stop jamming your juvenile, metally impaired tongue in her mouth. And use breath mints

Page 4: Moderate contact
It can be overwhelming and extremely off-putting if you seek to spend every moment of every day with a woman you just started dating. Make sure that you spend time apart, doing your own thing. Being unavailable sometimes is an attractive trait, as it shows you have a life of your own and that you’re not needy. You shouldn’t avoid her for no good reason, however; make sure you have something you need to be doing. If you arbitrarily blow her off, you just come across as a bit of a jerk, and she may feel you are just playing games with her.

Translation: Stop overwhelming women with cuddling. We really don't like it so much. I mean, not SOOOO much. Mkay? Bueno.

Page 5: Maintain high standards of grooming
Many men think that they only need to look their best at the very beginning of a relationship. What they fail to realize is that the person the woman was attracted to was that well-groomed individual she first met. For this reason, if you let your standards slip, she will not be impressed. It is vital that you maintain high standards of grooming. Wear smart, clean outfits, and make sure you don't look unkempt and disheveled. This tip also applies to looking after your body: Keep up that exercise and make sure that your six-pack isn't turning into a pot belly.

Translation: Seriously. Take a bath. Use a scrub pad too. And use spray deodorant so it penetrates the air shaft while you're at it.

Page 6: Bring up topics she's interested in and ask questions
Being a great conversationalist is useful at any stage of a relationship, and is essential in maintaining her interest. After a few dates, you will almost certainly have picked up on a few topics that she is especially interested in. Bring these topics up and ask her questions about them. By demonstrating your interest in her, she will be extremely flattered. By allowing her to discuss things she is passionate about, you will virtually guarantee that she'll have a good time, consequently encouraging her to repeat the experience with you.

Translation: Act normal.

Page 7: Reveal your own interests over time
While we have highlighted the fact that you should spend time learning about her, she will also want to know things about you. Retaining some mystery will keep her interested, but don't clam up and tell her nothing. If you make her work too hard to discover who you are, she will get bored. Over time, you should reveal new things to her, like stories from your past, hobbies and interests, and other snippets of information. By letting her discover new things about you, you will make her keen to learn even more.

Translation: Act normal.

Page 8: Make the plans
Making plans for you both is a great way to keep her interested. This is an opportunity to show her your creative side by coming up with imaginative dates. By doing this, you will keep her interest in you high, because she won’t know what to expect. Women crave excitement, and if you can provide it, she will love you for it.

Translation: Act normal.

Page 9: Be decisive
Being capable of making decisions will also help maintain her interest. When you are out on a date, there is every chance that she will be just as worried about making the right decision as you are. If you constantly defer to her, it will appear that you lack confidence in your judgment. By being decisive, you demonstrate some positive and attractive character traits. This doesn’t mean that you should ignore her if she expresses a preference or an opinion -- that’s just rude. She will appreciate this, and the fact that don’t give her all the responsibility.

Translation: Lose the fragile backbone and act like a normal man.

Page 10: Plan spontaneity
One of our final tips to help maintain her interest is to be spontaneous. For example, check the local listings for upcoming events, and then “just happen” to be in the area when they're happening. By keeping up to date on activities that are going on, you can try unconventional dates and keep her guessing. This shows that you are fun and that you can act on your impulses -- which is always going to be exciting for her.

Translation: This idiot for a writer is really pushing the limits on common sense.

Page 11: Have a life of your own
As we noted earlier, spending all your time with a woman in the early stages of a relationship is smothering and off-putting (it is also boring). It is vital that you maintain your own life, outside the relationship. Remember all those activities that made you interesting in the first place? Keep doing those. Keep hanging out with your friends and doing the things you enjoy. You will not only maintain your own identity, but you will also have interesting things to talk about.

Translation: The over whelming wisdom of this amazing talented author is blinding. Definitely not nauseating.

Gay Support Narcissism

2009-06-04T19:08:00.001-07:00

...on Anderson Cooper's birthday! Happy GayDay Anderson!

After all, it's just another 'hint' that some of us still seem to have this need to know for sure that you're basically not into what Suzie Orman is jarringly into... which is in such a femy and jazzy kind of way. Which is a tad fu*king weird and down right yucky.

Perversion Narcissism Gone Wrong

2009-06-04T17:17:00.001-07:00

David Carradine dead by erotic asphyxiation.

Now, as much as I love to dream of hot sweaty German and Dutch men who have a nice pleather of body fat, tall height, big and limbic bones, some musculature, though not too toned, and a sexy northern European accent so much that you can't understand their broken Queen's English unless you've raised deaf kids, I can never seem to wrap my head around erotic asphyxiation. I have to ask, what is the point of it, and why would some jackass, albeit a talented actor, at the tender age of 72 do such a thing..while naked and alone?

Survey says: he's a perverted narcissist with not much going on in his head but perhaps loneliness and boredom. Come now. I get bored sometimes, but hey, I've got a narley blog, cable with HBO, and free porno on Craigslist.

I just can't feel sorry for idiots like this one.

RIP, jackass.

Update: Eh, erm cough cough...looks like there is an investigation of foul play being that Carradine's hands were tied behind his back. I'll go ahead and promise to kick myself in the ass if there is proven truth to the investigation.

Update June 8, 2009. According to one of his former wives, Carradine participated in a sleu of kinky sex acts. So, I guess I was right after ~~diving~~ coming to my own conclusions.
Thank God.

Newsworthy Narcissism: Angelina Jolie is Number One! That's Numero-Uno!

2009-06-03T21:52:00.000-07:00

Signature Mesmerizing Pose

Copied and Pasted from http://omg.yahoo.com...with some minor modifications from yours truly. Guess which ones!

OMG.Yahoo.com (sort of):

She's rich. She's not! very talented. She's ~~ugly~~ beautiful. And now Angelina Jolie is the most powerful celebrity in the world. Because many of you idiots help put her and American Idol there.

Thanks to the release of several ~~Desperate For Survival Indywood Produced~~ blockbuster movies and an endless sea of media buzz and morons who think she's hot, Jolie has dethroned Oprah Winfrey to top this year's Celebrity 100 list, Forbes' annual ranking of the world's ultra famous.

Jolie raked in $27 million in the past 12 months thanks to a movie schedule that included "Kung Fu Panda-Who?," "Wanted" and the not-yet-released spy thriller "Salt." Even more pathetic: The publicity she garnered following the birth of her lab created-twins, as well as the consistent headlines she grabs for her ~~juvenile and self-ingratiating~~ philanthropic efforts and her relationship with ~~yet another unattractive and over-rated~~ actor Brad Pitt, who ranks No. 9 on that list of the most feeble minded and over paid entertainers of all time [cue duh - huh huh laugh].

Simon Fucking Cowell

2009-06-03T21:23:00.000-07:00

As if the idea of a Simon Cowell Manbra is bad enough, even more depressing, this (yet another) British Gag'star has raked in a cool 70 mill in 2008 at the expense of helping to dumb down America. Not that we need his help, since, you know, over half of the US is filled with village/country/suburban/city idiots with bad taste in music and vocal talent.

Reference:

Why I Hate American Idol
The reasons why American Idol, Paula Abdul and Simon Cowell are ruining pretty much everything.
http://www.associatedcontent.comarticle/32887/why_i_hate_american_idol.html

I don't get why Sasha Baron Cohen is 'really' funny - Narcissism

2009-06-03T20:53:00.001-07:00

Weird...but not funny.

Stereotypical Rapper Wannabee...not really feeling it.

Naucious (pleasantly well hung...which is why I'm making myself sick).. but you're getting warmer!

Yeah, well...

...alas, Crass and Zany do not necessarily equate to Funny.

Backasswards Taste in Women - Narcissism

2009-06-01T19:53:00.001-07:00

Seventy-five percent of white AND black men prefer these:

Anjelina Jolie

Scary, just scary.

Lindsay Lohan

ET Paris Hilton

Terry Hatcher

Charlotte Gainsbourg

Shauna Sands

Even this

Translation:

Our future gene pool.

Unattractive Narcissists Who Forget That They Are Unattractive.

2009-05-30T23:01:00.000-07:00

Personal judgement and expectations clouded by fame and fortune. What is new with rich, ugly, elderly men?

Greed obviously clouded this idiot's judgement so much that she allowed him to reproduce with her. Imagine that.

Gold Digging Narcissism Pays Big To Under educated/attractive/English speaking Harpees

2009-05-29T20:54:00.000-07:00

...though it does help if you can make it to the States. How easy would it be to get into Cambridge University in England before learning English...only to move to the States some years later and marry a homosexual for his money [and his name] before jet setting to the Politically Incorrect by Bill Maher to blabber a load of shiz in the biz of politics beforing owning a renowned online zine?
Just ask Arianna Fu*king Huffington.

'Gorgeously' Genius.

The Hell is Going On Here--Narcissism

2009-05-27T15:06:00.001-07:00

So rich, so...clever...so.....barf.

Excerpts from Dooce.com blog:

"Just think about all those empty calories screwing with the baby's brain development. I know, I know. YOU'VE REALLY CROSSED THE LINE THIS TIME, ARMSTRONG!
So me and my body are not getting along, or maybe I should say that my body and my brain are not communicating very well and would benefit from a rigorous session of couples therapy. I've got all these ideas and plans in my head, none of them too elaborate or insane, just simple things like the rearrangement of boxes in the garage, and it's like a team of menacing invaders have stationed themselves in various extremities of my body and are conspiring to take me down: ATTENTION! HOST ORGANISM THINKS SHE'S GOING TO LIFT A TOOLBOX. SEND CRIPPLING PAIN FROM HIP TO SHIN.......

I had giant hexagonal-shaped spots the color of blood all across my butt, and just as I was about to spiral down that hole of WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE, Jon reminded me that we had spent the Memorial Day holiday with my family at a park. And had been sitting for hours at a picnic table whose benches were made of a metal woven in a hexagonal shape. And that perhaps ALL THAT EXTRA WEIGHT I'm carrying caused the blood to pool in such a pattern on my butt. I gently suggested that he rephrase his explanation and strike the word WEIGHT from his vocabulary, or at least resist the temptation to use it in front of his 37-weeks pregnant wife. And while he's at it, how about fetching me that box of Donettes! Also, don't forget that bottle of Hershey's syrup, you know how I like to have something to wash down all that powder. "

[is this where I'm supposed to laugh really hard...and say, witt'ay...no- wicked witt'ay..where does she get this stuff?]

Typical (over-gratiating) comments to Heather Armstrong's posting about her ass and cleverly hellacious 36th week prego pic: (So, ready to scroll?)

1. KAS said:
Dear sweet god almighty and all of his cousins, I love you so much, Heather. Those pictures are hilarious and wonderful and I want to cry I'm laughing so hard .. I'm only a few weeks behind you and I have to say that shit, you pulled off that look better than I could have ..
I love you. Keep it up. You're making my pregnancy easier to tolerate. <3
05.26.09 - 12:14 PM
2. Christine said:
YEAH BABY!!!! You are awesome.
05.26.09 - 12:14 PM
3. KAS said:
And holy shit! I got first comment! I've never done that before! Oh my god, my life is complete.
...
Either that or I'm more of an addict than I originally thought.
Have to go pay attention to the toddler now ..
05.26.09 - 12:14 PM
4. Susie said:
I LOVE those pictures! As for the rash... HAhahaha!! Good luck for the remainder of your pregnancy... it will soon be over.
05.26.09 - 12:16 PM
5. gwendolyn said:
I almost spit out my black tea. very funny. my sister is due any day now. im childless out of 7 siblings so i love hearing these stories. i find all pregnant women become comedians. i mean. otherwise it seems you would always be crying!
05.26.09 - 12:17 PM
6. Mary said:
Photos totally made my day!! :D
05.26.09 - 12:18 PM
7. april said:
good god- you are amazing.
little doughnuts! so good, so trashy.
keep up the good work.
05.26.09 - 12:18 PM
8. Geegee said:
The PBR can in the pants...genius!
You *are* awesome. And that has to be the funniest set of photos ever!
05.26.09 - 12:18 PM
9. Danielle said:
Awesome!! LOVE the pics. Empathize with rash. Just think.. in a few weeks you will be laughing. er, maybe not..
05.26.09 - 12:18 PM
10. Heather's Garden said:
Love, love, love the photos!
05.26.09 - 12:18 PM
11. Jon Pugh said:
You are the funniest person ever!
05.26.09 - 12:18 PM
12. Em said:
I've never been pregnant but am secretly looking forward to the day I can wear jeans with a giant elastic waistband. Now however, I see no reason to wait if I can use them to carry cans of PBR around. Think of how much beer a non-pregnant chick could fit in there!
05.26.09 - 12:19 PM
13. Misia said:
You look hot in red lipstick!
05.26.09 - 12:19 PM
14. leesavee said:
Brilliantly trashy! Makes me want to get knocked up...
05.26.09 - 12:19 PM
15. Julia said:
Okay, I thought the photos with the tutu and tiara were amazing, but these just might take the cake.
05.26.09 - 12:19 PM
16. Amanda said:
Amazing. Every Pregnant woman should carry PBR in the lovely stretchy part of their pants.
Dooce=Love
05.26.09 - 12:20 PM
17. Jeri said:
Two words: Donette Armstrong
05.26.09 - 12:20 PM
18. Maura said:
Who knew that maternity pants were stretchy at the top simply as a means of keeping a beer can handy?!
All that comes to mind is: White Trash Mommy Dearest, as you have a very Joan Crawford-esque look about you there. Too funny.
05.26.09 - 12:20 PM
19. Julie said:
You are at the very least, the most attractive knocked up trailer trash I have ever seen.
AND I LIVE IN MISSISSIPPI.
05.26.09 - 12:20 PM
20. Beth said:
Mmmmm...donettes
I envy you.
Six months before I got pregnant, I was diagnosed with a wheat/gluten intolerance. Do you know how hard it is to go through pregnancy without donuts, lucky charms, real bread, etc etc etc??? Oh, I envy you. ;)
05.26.09 - 12:20 PM
21. Cat said:
LOVE the photos, although...aren't the chemicals in that lipstick full of baby-endangering carcinogens and isn't mascara the Devil?
05.26.09 - 12:20 PM
22. Carrie said:
LOVE the pictures!! Reminds me of a t-shirt that I often sported during my first pregnancy indicating that it was 5 o'clock somehwere! Tacky yet comfortable and one of the few things left that would fit!
05.26.09 - 12:20 PM
23. Micaela said:
LOVE IT! Good acting skills there! I don't know how you did it without laughing.
05.26.09 - 12:20 PM
24. hoskas said:
That lipstick is delicious.
05.26.09 - 12:21 PM
25. Jessica said:
Sweet Jesus. You have balls. I love it!
05.26.09 - 12:21 PM
26. The J said:
Awesome! Those pictures are hilarious. Great Idea.
The tattoo is a nice touch :)
Mmmh… donuts… What's that drink you got there? I'm not from the USA, so I don't know, but I'm curious.
05.26.09 - 12:21 PM
27. sandra said:
Are you sure you weren't raised in Horn Lake instead of Bartlett?
Only someone from the Memphis area would get this!
05.26.09 - 12:21 PM
28. Mel Heth said:
This Rules. Hilarious.
05.26.09 - 12:21 PM
29. Kathryn said:
I don't think I've ever commented before, but this one was the dam breaker. You're one funny, very pregnant chick! LOVED the pictures and post!
05.26.09 - 12:21 PM
30. HolyShite said:
I've never heard so much complaining about a broken toe in my entire life.
05.26.09 - 12:21 PM
31. Anonymous said:
those photos are effing awesome!
05.26.09 - 12:22 PM
32. Chrissy said:
Holy Crap - I just laughed so hard a little pee squeezed out (time for more kegels). Those pictures are priceless - baby book worthy for sure!!
05.26.09 - 12:22 PM
33. lark said:
I'm 31 weeks and the drug store sells tubs of cotton candy that my DH has to watch me eat in the car outside of the dog park because I just can't wait until after we let the dog play.
Because I'm selfish. And the baby really needs pink sugar fluff to grow fat and happy.
05.26.09 - 12:22 PM
34. Christy Wood said:
You totally look like a model from W magazine, it's that I-just-had-my-ass-kicked-and-I-like-it look....I have to go back and read the post now. Jaw dropped....LOL at these photos. Hilarious. Do one more with a tooth blacked out...that would be the cherry on top. :-)
05.26.09 - 12:22 PM
35. jessica said:
I love the Material Girl look! You are hilarious.
I think that men should strike the word "weight" from their vocabulary at all times--at least in reference to their partner. It's a no win situation.
05.26.09 - 12:22 PM
36. Aspen said:
The pictures are amazing but it was this sentence that just led to spit coffee all over my work laptop:
"Son, put on a condom lest you one day be forced into the same room as an oblong whale attempting to inspect its own ass."
You are hilarious.
05.26.09 - 12:22 PM
37. Amy said:
'shopped!
(It doesn't count if you don't light the ciggie or open the beer, my dear!)
Hilarious.
05.26.09 - 12:22 PM
38. Lori W said:
No Jeri I have a better one.
Vancenne Armstrong
Heather you crack me up!!! Is this look left over from when you were undecover with the Salt Lake Sheriff's on a hooker raid!
05.26.09 - 12:23 PM
39. Becky said:
That can of PBR is a hoot! Whose idea was it for that photo shoot? Jon must have been laughing so hard! I mean... LOOK AT YOUR HAIR!!!!! 37 weeks photo? I really think you need to give Leta some doughnuts and have her plant some big powdery white smooches on your fabulous baby belly!
05.26.09 - 12:23 PM
40. shaygo said:
great, now i want donuts. . .and beer. and maternity pants.
05.26.09 - 12:23 PM
41. Samantha said:
HAHA. I died.
05.26.09 - 12:23 PM
42. Comic Mummy said:
Holy White Trash Scully! Seriously, I was thinking these were posted from a Gillian Anderson photoshoot!
05.26.09 - 12:24 PM
43. Nik said:
Killer shots!
First time I'm commenting from Canada and although I'm not NEAR as funny on paper (errr, blog) as you, it is so refreshing to have someone who has similar thoughts running through her head who can coherently put them in clever and witty form.
Thanks for making my day :)
05.26.09 - 12:24 PM
44. Stephanie said:
HAHA! Those pictures are priceless. I love that you did this.
05.26.09 - 12:24 PM
45. Dharma said:
your "hexagonal" issue reminds me of when I was pregnant with "Number 2" as we affectionately refer to him....
I had been at an all day baseball tourney with Boy#1 and was swollen up like a water buffalo, leaning against the chainlink for the better part of the afternoon. You know, yelling like a crazed Mom/ Banshee at my kid who wanted to disappear through the clay dust of the diamond. The next day and for about 3 days I looked like I was selling off portions of my belly....that or creating some sort of grid system for the kids to identify if that was indeed "a foot or a chin" and what quadrant it was in....
love your stuff lady, keep it up
05.26.09 - 12:24 PM
46. Catherine said:
I love your sense of humor. I wonder how many people will berate you just for having an unlit cigarette in your mouth haha.
05.26.09 - 12:25 PM
47. The Army Wife said:
Best. Picture. EVER.
05.26.09 - 12:25 PM
48. William said:
Holy cow you look like Michelle Pfeifer in Grease 2...or maybe it was the Fabulaous Baker Boys. Or maybe it was dangerous Liasons'...but without the hooped skirt.
I read this post as if you were cracking and smacking chewing gum throughout the whole thing.
05.26.09 - 12:25 PM
49. Jessica said:
OMG. I just saw the rolled up cigarette box in the sleeve. ROFL!!
05.26.09 - 12:25 PM
50. Joy said:
Most excellent photos.
(Jon could sell them on his site and in no time, you guys will have funded a college education for little Donette.)
05.26.09 - 12:26 PM
51. Lindsay said:
Powdered sugar donettes are the best!
05.26.09 - 12:26 PM
52. Jacqueline said:
Heather you are so fabulous. You make me laugh at your expense all the time & by golly I appreciate it.
05.26.09 - 12:26 PM
53. KathyM said:
Haaaaahahaha!
PS Good luck with the last few weeks--oh, and the first few weeks, too.
05.26.09 - 12:26 PM
54. Amanda said:
My first thought was *Lucille Ball*. These are brilliant, props to Blurb. Have a happy and comfortable last few weeks.
Also on a side note, I just finished your archives, and I have to say that it was like reading the most addicting novel ever, you know, the kind you can't put down. Thank you for making ppd that much easier to cope with.
05.26.09 - 12:27 PM
55. ɹǝƃƃolquǝʞoʇ said:
AWESOME PHOTOS!
They look so real (because I've seen pregnant women like that)!
05.26.09 - 12:27 PM
56. Aaron said:
Those pictures are phenomenal!
And I second #17's nomination of Donette Armstrong.
05.26.09 - 12:27 PM
57. Kristine said:
Awesome excellent wonderful pictures.
My favorite.
05.26.09 - 12:27 PM
58. Peach said:
I want to see the fridge picture - the PBR sitting next to the edamame. Heads would explode all over the southland...
05.26.09 - 12:28 PM
59. hootenannie said:
Oh.
My.
LAWD.
You are my favorite person on the entire internet, ever.
05.26.09 - 12:28 PM
60. Joy101378 said:
Funniest. Shit. Ever.
Heather, please marry me.
05.26.09 - 12:29 PM
61. bug_mama said:
I'm a week behind you and I really appreciate the fact that I repeatedly read your posts and think "Thank god, someone else is going through that. It's not just in my head."
PS: Maternity belts help with sciatic pain. Giant elastic and velcro belts FTW.
05.26.09 - 12:29 PM
62. Shelly said:
I love the beer in the waistband.
You're almost there. Whether you feel it or not, you actually look terrific.
05.26.09 - 12:29 PM
63. JHud said:
best preggo post yet! good work.
05.26.09 - 12:29 PM
64. Tricia said:
I was trying to figure out how your bathroom tiles managed to get tattooed on your butt... the park bench ending is hilarious! So glad it turned out to be the powdered donuts' fault and not anything more serious. ;)
We spent most of the weekend terrified that my husband has oral cancer, due to a sudden large lump on the inside of his lower lip. And I do mean large-- the size of a marble; he couldn't drink his coffee without dribbling down his shirt. Well, after a Sunday trip to the emergency care clinic, some fervent online research and scheduling an appointment with an oral surgeon, he walks up to me early this morning and says, "hey honey, guess what came out of that bump? A whisker!" Thank God.
05.26.09 - 12:30 PM
65. mommaruthsays said:
If more pregnant women had the sense of humor to take maternity shots like this, then the world would be a lot less tight-assed :)
thanks, dooce!
05.26.09 - 12:30 PM
66. Lori Magno said:
This may be my favorite post ever - and I've been reading since 2002!
Fingers crossed, prayers going up and all sorts of well wishes for a smooth and happy delivery! (And then gallons of tequila!)
-Lori
05.26.09 - 12:31 PM
67. the niffer said:
OMFG you are hilarious.
05.26.09 - 12:31 PM
68. beth said:
I just peed my pants. YOU. ARE. AWESOME.
05.26.09 - 12:31 PM
69. Jenny said:
O dear god. I just fell out of my chair and peed my pants laughing.
05.26.09 - 12:31 PM
70. Jennifer W. said:
Sweet holy crap, I am now SO excited about the possibility

[and it goes on and on IN SEVEN MORE PAGES or so. I'm not kidding.]

So. My question is this, is Dooce.com deliberately spamming these comments or does the USA have a higher number of pathetic mommie [and pedo] bloggers - with way too much time on thier hands other than watching their KIDS - than I thought. I'm seriously pondering this.

Horse Narcissism

2009-05-21T19:13:00.000-07:00

...though, Nice Dress!

I still don't get why people like Eminem - Narcissism

2009-05-19T21:23:00.001-07:00

Google
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=why+do+people+like+eminem
Why do people like Eminem?

On Kimmel:
[cue Eminem's low self esteemed and defensive posture]
"Honistlee, I guess it's part of what I dew. It's not like to be takan personul or anything.

On rhyme: "You know like, I can say,
[a phuu a aphuu] Kimmel Stuck a Thimbol up his...in a Nimbul."

ABC NEWS slams Prostitution and Cheats - Narcissism

2009-05-19T20:51:00.000-07:00

Good for ABC News, Nightline. Smart 'Narcissism' is a good thing.

Article:

Impoverished Woman, Early 20s, Seeks 'Established Man [aka sad, pathetic, unattractive idiots with too much money and time on thier hands]'
Founder of 'Sugar Daddy' Site Says It's Not About Prostitution and She's Not a Pimp
By MARTIN BASHIR and KARSON YIU
May 19, 2009

Like lovers the world over, a couple we'll call Kyle and Melissa were spending a lazy Saturday browsing local shops for something special for her. Very special, judging by the venue -- Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills.

Kyle met Melissa on a dating Web site called "Established Men," a forum for frank talk and candid transactions where men of means are matched with stunning, young -- and oftentimes penniless -- women. Melissa, 23, is an out-of-work actress.
(ABC News)"Oh, look at the diamonds," Melissa cooed, eyeing a pair of stiletto pumps through the windows of the Jimmy Choo boutique. Kyle understood that meant they needed to go inside.

"This one is $1,450," said a store employee as he handed Melissa a handbag.

"OK, and this one is 15 [hundred]?" she asked, pointing to another bag. "It's so cute!"

She turned to Kyle. "It's like twice as much as we wanted to spend."

Fortunately, Melissa knew that her unambiguous taste for luxury was matched by Kyle's generosity.

Watch the story tonight on "Nightline" at 11:35 p.m. ET

Instead of the handbag, Melissa settled on a pair of $600 shoes. "I love them," she said. "I could kiss them."

"I think I'm sold," she finally said. "What do you think?"

"I'm sold," Kyle agreed.

Couple Link Up on 'Sugar Daddy' Site
It was only their third date, but Kyle had already spent almost $10,000 wooing Melissa (that day's haul included a ring and a bracelet from Tiffany & Co.). His unusual generosity had a simple explanation. In fact, it was a crucial step in their courtship.

Related
Sugar Daddy Sites Draw BlackmailersMatchmaker: 'More Singles Today Than Ever'Soul Not Swagger: How to Date in a Down Market"How's my hair?" Melissa asked as they strutted across Wilshire Boulevard.

Kyle looked pleased.

"Beautiful."

Kyle met Melissa on a dating Web site called "Established Men," a forum for frank talk and candid transactions where men of means are matched with stunning, young -- and oftentimes penniless -- women.

Melissa, 23, is an out-of-work actress. She could be described as a Sugar Baby.

"It's been tricky to pursue my passion because it can be feast or famine, and in the times when the work is slow, you know, you have to get another job and then that could cause you to miss auditions ... and so it is nice to be able to have a partner ... that understands where you are going and helps support that," she said.

Kyle, 42, is a divorced television producer who makes around half a million dollars a year. He's the Sugar Daddy.

"I was very skeptical about going on EstablishedMen.com," he said. "Honestly I was ... because I didn't want to feel that a girl just wanted my money and nothing else."

Melissa's arrangement with Kyle, with the ambiguous balance of money and sex it entails, is part of a growing online dating trend. Some call it practical. Others compare it with prostitution.

ABC News asked Kyle if he ever thought about whether Melissa might not find him attractive, without his money.

"You know, I always thought about that," Kyle said. "And it always bothered me. Yeah, it does. It certainly does. But on the other hand, what if I was her? And I wasn't as beautiful as she was? Would a guy like me be interested in her?

"Probably not."

I Should Not Have Clicked on The Latest Link From Dooce.com - Narcissism

2009-05-15T15:40:00.000-07:00

If you're eating, say sausage or sauerkraut, then don't click here!

Multiple Birth Narcissism

2009-05-15T15:34:00.001-07:00

aka: Crapping out babies for TV and profit.

Hair style by Hair Cuttery. Obviously.

Joan Rivers is a 'Victorian' Narcissist

2009-05-10T19:22:00.000-07:00

[blasting Annie on Celebrity Apprentice for being a character assassin over someone else not wanting to work with Celebrity Apprentice and Rivers]

"..maybe it's the Victorian in me, but I live by honor....never has anything like this happened to me.....and no, YOU [Annie] can not speak!"

I believe Rivers is as Victorian as US Immigration is Victorian towards illegal immigration and unattractive British illegal aliens.

Brash [or Ignorance is Bliss] Narcissism

2009-04-24T16:38:00.000-07:00

Bernie Madoff [with people's money]'s right hand man, Frank DiPascali never went to college either.

CNN:
If, for example, one of these special customers had large gains on other [Madoff] investments, he would tell DiPascali, who would fabricate a loss to reduce the tax bill. If true, that would mean these investors knew their returns were fishy.

Explains the source familiar with the matter: "This is a group of inside investors -- all individuals with very, very high net worths who, hypothetically speaking, received a 20% markup or 25% markup or a 15% loss if they needed it." The investors would tell DiPascali, for example, that their other investments had soared and they needed to find some losses to cut their tax bills. DiPascali would adjust their Madoff results accordingly.

Joy Behar is a Sore Loser

2009-04-22T08:15:00.000-07:00

Today on the View, there was another heated discussion about the Miss USA or America-whatever contestant [what's her name, the prettier one from the cookie cutter...Miss California] who failed the Perez Hilton Litmus Test when asked about gay marriage. None other than our loveable fat head, Joy Behar, defended Perez Hilton for marking a big fat 0 on the ousted Miss USA contestant's score card costing her the crown as Perez Hilton later professed. Behar said, "You should never bite the hand that feeds you...a lot of gays watch the Miss USA pageant.".

It doesn't seem to matter so much since both contenstants look a lot alike, but leave it to Joy Behar to defend anything gay no matter how rediculous an over tolerated loser like Perez Hilton makes the situation out to be. A Star is born with the help of Perez Hitler Hilton. Congrats, to Miss What's Her Face.

Miss USA Crowned [The uglier one]:

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Gay Narcissism Gone Bad [but good for Conservative Beauty Queens]

2009-04-21T13:09:00.001-07:00

Nice to know that Perez Hitler has helped pave the way for the ousted BQ to striking it big in the media/Hollywood/$$$. Thanks Perez!

Whoring Narcissism Gone Wrong

2009-04-20T19:49:00.001-07:00

Phil Markoff, a Boston University medical student originally from New York, has been arrested in the Craiglist murder and robbery of Julissa Brisman. Ew and - ahh !

To all those stupid and lazy 'females' out there who think they can make fast cash by way of ~~whoring~~ message and lap dancing services on CL istead of making an honest and smart living, this is one of your wake up calls.

The Gap's Attempt at Pimping Striped Apparel and more Wedge Shoes Narcissism

2009-04-18T19:31:00.001-07:00

STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP
STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP!!

It's like being back in 2004... 1994, 1984.

and this....

NO..NO...AND NO!

Liberal Narcissism Gone Wrong

2009-04-18T17:10:00.000-07:00

Susan Roesgen of CNN got a taste of her own medicine, after she swiftly cut a man off who she just interviewed three seconds before. The man with his two year old began mentioning the idea of liberty and people's money, and off Roesgen went claiming that this was [all] anti-government. You would think FOX would hire this woman for her brazen audacity to cut someone off and yelp "foul"...especially after she's applied to FOX twice. Is someone sneakingly embedding themselves with the enemy? Hmm...

Shorty afterwards, Roesgen get's [owned] schooled on some "deep thoughts" by a self employed mom. CNN tried to snatch the YouTube video claiming cable rights. But luckly, some had saved and embedded the video before it was permanently snatched. Enjoy.

Anderson Cooper's Snarky Way of Coming Out on CNN Narcissism

2009-04-18T09:33:00.000-07:00

David Gergen, CNN Senior Political Analysist, mentioned that Republicans need to find their voice within the electorial college. Cooper quipped, "It's hard to talk when you're teabagging."

I'm sure Anderson's a pro by now.

Incensed Brit towards Fledgling American Chefs Narcissism

2009-04-17T05:11:00.000-07:00

"Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", v"Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef", "Yes, Chef",

YES CHEF YOU ARE KING!

Yet again, another tacky American reala-drama about yet another Brit in a leadership role disparaging naive, dubious, and dumb Americans. The Brit who brought on reala-drama to the States should have have stayed poor or have his tiny, pixie balls strung by Hulk Hogan.

Ref:

http://dweebisis.blogspot.com/2008/08/american-britishaussieanglo-etc.html

Dashton Narcissism is ickier than Branjelina.

2009-04-17T04:39:00.000-07:00

Kutcher: "I love God."

Moore, 46, replied on her own Twitter page, saying: "He is such a sneak and while I was steaming his suit too!"

The way out of Ashton Kutcher's league star was steaming her husband's suit for her former husband, Bruce Willis marriage to a model who is way out of Bruce Willis's league, Emma Heming. What else is new among rich people besides the ability to tweet one's cheesy, hyped love for one another. Gag.

I agree Ashton Kutcher is a hottie....for gay old men or Anderson Cooper.

Heather Fucking Armstrong Narcissism

2009-04-16T19:52:00.001-07:00

Olympus:

Nikon:

pimped by AOL and Pampers.

Reference:
I AM DWEEBISIS: Mundane Mommie Narcissism

Lecture Self Ingratiating Narcissism

2009-04-05T14:28:00.001-07:00

Someone needs to nudge the pres and tell him that his campaign is over as of November 2008.

Black [Praise] Narcissism

2009-03-29T11:01:00.000-07:00

Sign Narcissism

Lion Narcissism

Penguin Narcissism

What else is new?

Voting Neglect--Narcissism

2009-03-24T18:51:00.000-07:00

Calling Enforcement "Un-American", Pelosi Speaks Volumes about the Obama-Pelosi-Reid Immigration Agenda

On Saturday, March 7, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) spoke to a group of legal and illegal aliens, criticizing law enforcement operations conducted by Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) as "un-American." (Fox News, March 18, 2009; See Fox News video here). Pelosi made the comments at an event organized by Congressman Luis Gutierrez (D-IL) as part of his nationwide tour to promote amnesty for millions of illegal aliens. (See FAIR's Legislative Update, March 2, 2009).

Gutierrez is using his tour to push amnesty, develop a grassroots network, and collect petitions asking President Obama to "stop the immigration raids and [end] deportations…." (Fox News, March 18, 2009). Both Gutierrez' and Pelosi's support for ending the enforcement of immigration laws comes as the unemployment rate for American citizens and legal immigrants continues to climb, with the most recent numbers putting the rate at more than eight percent. (Bureau of Labor Statistics).

While Pelosi's comments sparked outrage from many Americans, her comments are entirely consistent with the steps Congress and the Obama Administration have already taken, many unnoticed by the media, to dismantle some of the most successful immigration enforcement programs. These actions include:

Delaying the requirement that federal contractors who receive taxpayer funded contracts use the E-Verify program to ensure that these contractors are hiring American workers instead of illegal aliens. (The Washington Post, January 30, 2009).
Allowing 300,000 jobs created by the Stimulus bill to go to illegal aliens by stripping a long-term E-verify extension from the final version of the bill. The House-passed bill included a five-year extension but it was stripped out of the final version of the bill that President Obama signed into law. (FAIR Legislative Update, February 17, 2009).
Suspending worksite enforcement which holds employers accountable if they hire illegal aliens. After ICE arrested 28 illegal aliens in a Bellingham, Washington plant, DHS Secretary Janet Napolitano launched a review of ICE saying she wanted "to get to the bottom of this." ICE agents were acting on information obtained after a lawful arrest but the Obama Administration's investigation is preventing ICE from following good leads and preventing crimes, even when that crime involves stealing the identity of an American citizen or legal immigrant. (The Associated Press, February 25, 2009).
Holding hearings on the 287(g) program and suggesting that the program should only be used to target enforcement at violent criminal felons. By limiting the effectiveness of this program in this way, Congress is refusing to enforce the law when it comes to many illegal alien including non-violent felons. (FAIR Legislative Update, March 9, 2009).
Blocking a long-term E-Verify extension from being included in the Omnibus Approps bill. The Senate rejected the Sessions' amendment that would have extended E-Verify for 5 years by using procedural tactics to table or "kill" the amendment. (Senate Roll Call Vote #93, 111th Congress, 1st Session, March 10, 2009)(a "yea" vote is a vote against the amendment).
Meanwhile, on the legislative front, the Obama Administration is signaling its willingness to move amnesty legislation forward this fall, a commitment that was reinforced during a meeting with members of the Congressional Hispanic Caucus. CQ Today reports that the failed legislation from 2007 is expected to serve as the "blueprint." (CQ Today, March 19, 2009). The biggest issue left unresolved, according to Frank Sharry, head of the amnesty advocacy group "America's Voice", is what kind of guest worker programs will enable more foreign workers to enter the country in future years. (Id).

The exact timing of amnesty legislation still is uncertain. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid has indicated legislation will be debated on the Senate floor this year. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has wavered in suggesting a timeline for House debate. (Id).

Although most would not agree with everything in this article, one of the themes to be learned from this article [for some of you after donning on your thinking caps] is that SENATORS AND REPRESENTATIVES should be required to have at least a college degree preferably in the fields of law, finance, and ethics...with a minor in the social sciences. That and previous experience in public office before taking over another senator's seat. Now how about them apples.

Branjalina Narcissism

2009-03-23T16:30:00.000-07:00

On Tanika Ray's discussion over "Octumom",

"They [Brangalina] could careless about this woman, they're busy saving the world."

Tanika Ray is not only a big Branjalina fan, she's also a moron.

Self Ingratiating Narcissism

2009-03-23T14:01:00.000-07:00

Obligation- Smogligation...

"I owe those unions... When their leaders call, I do my best to call them back right away. I don't mind feeling obligated."

Black'story Month Narcissism

2009-02-18T21:43:00.000-08:00

"In his first major speech since being confirmed, the nation's first black attorney general told an overflow crowd celebrating Black History Month at the Justice Department the nation remains "voluntarily socially segregated."

"Though this nation has proudly thought of itself as an ethnic melting pot, in things racial we have always been and continue to be, in too many ways, essentially a nation of cowards," Holder declared.

Korean History Month...Slavic History Month. Multiracial Month!
I can't wait!!

British over-actors are even more aggravating.

2009-02-12T20:43:00.000-08:00

Aside from the re-emergence [yet over played and over sex scened] engagement of Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCrapio in "The Reader", Kate Winslet still isn't so much of a fan of the Americans as she recently made of fun of Americans and their expressions as if we're all on some big game show or on Entertainment tonight..in Canada or say, Minnosota.

Though, I'm sure she's willing to scrap for any cheesy-indie American movie deal that pays big bucks since England is still worse the Canada.

Another desperate attempt at getting a Visa and a Job pays off--Narcissism

2008-10-19T08:48:00.000-07:00

http://iamatvjunkie.typepad.com/.a/6a00d83451c17f69e200e55375308f8833-320wi

http://gawker.com/tag/lara-logan/.

Jonesing for a Visa, someone's husband's affections, and getting a cool job in the States can pay big, just ask the sexy and low gene ratio, Lara Logon of SA.

I'm all for hiring the best of the best no matter where someone's from...but how about another example of how under-educated, semi-witted Anglo internationals get ahead among American jobs while showing irreverence and contempt towards American journalism and culture.

Special thanks to the good minds of CBS and liberal elites.

British Revel in Consdescending American Stereotypes-While Licking Wounds-Narcissism

2008-10-07T11:08:00.000-07:00

Article By Telegraph UK

They have panned the comedy duo's new television series - Little Britain USA - describing their sketches as "crude" and "low brow".
Brian Lowry, from Variety magazine, said the new series "revels in mock condescension towards American stereotypes".
"The wit level of these over-the-top interludes seldom rises above what's scrawled on a middle-school bathroom wall," he said.
"Walliams and Lucas certainly owe a debt to Benny Hill and Monty Python, but their impulses invariably drift below the (freely exposed) belt, going for the easiest possible gag."
A critic from the Los Angeles Times wrote: "Whatever pointed observation about American or British society Lucas and Walliams have in mind, whatever message about our hypocritical social mores and behaviours they're trying to send, gets lost in the adolescent guffawing about fat people and primary sex characteristics."
The American version of the award-winning show includes new characters as well as old favourites Andy, the wheelchair bound character who feigns disability, and his unfortunate carer Lou.
The first episode sees the comedians simulate a homosexual sex act during a sketch in which they don body suits as two in-the-closet muscle men.

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Hell On Earth Narcissism

2008-10-05T22:06:00.000-07:00

Over 90 percent of responders touted the supreme beauty of these two, eh.. actors:

http://perezhilton.com/2008-10-05-nighttime-glamour

There is a God-Narcissism

2008-09-12T17:10:00.001-07:00

Disclaimer: Pics and *depictions* are ["borrowed"] from another blog.

Channing Tatum to be exact. Wow- he must be out of his bi phase.

Word to the wiseless:

Skinny RIP does not equal to hotness. Nor does Brad Pitt.

Anorexic Narcissism

2008-09-09T07:11:00.001-07:00

First let me say, I did steal this pic from another narcy site. So there, I'm guilty. As if I care. Why is that? Do I really need to elaborate?

Note to Keira Knightley and other "skinny" chics of MovieWood: It's not too smart to talk the talk and walk the walk when [sort of ] admitting that you're dealing with an eating disorder, and that you're obviously that insecure and superficial with your image. It's also not a good idea to show that you're that shallow and narcy over something like this, unless you have a site like mine.

You end up losing a lot of fans and...you know, movie gigs.. casting directors.

I Don't Think So - Narcissism

2008-09-05T09:35:00.001-07:00

Chelsea Handler born on February 25, 1975... and not dating E! CEO Ted Harbert for the sake of whoring for a show?? http://www.flickr.com/photos/joeshlabotnik/365501987/

Yeah, and I was born on February 25, 1995. I just happen to be wicked smart at sarcasm for my youth.

Effortless-Energyless Narcissism

2008-08-30T20:04:00.000-07:00

Obama Revealed is on CNN and on YouTube.

Don't expect me to put the effort of giving you people links.

You'reKiddingRight? Narcissism

2008-08-29T17:22:00.000-07:00

A Big As If There.
Never underestimate the power of Dumb in huge numbers.

American British/Aussie/Anglo etc. Narcissism

2008-08-21T19:49:00.000-07:00

Why is it that we have to see more people like Tabetha of The Bravo Channel's Tabetha's Salon Takeover [I'm assuming she's Aussie] or Jo Frost, SuperNanny, from the UK as if they're English/Anglo "accented" personas and "cultural" upbringing exude qualities of leadership and intelligence? It may have something to do with stupid American network producers who are pretty smart and crafty when it comes to attacting a dumb American audience and a bunch of air time sponsors.

Maybe it's because Jo and Tabs are so...aristocratic. Only in America would you see people like Jo Frost with her British, aristocratic style of raising kids, while never having kids herself, and Tabetha Pitbull, with a bad and dated hair style no less, delegating on shows like that in a manner that more Americans can subserviantly appreciate. I mean, like, they know how to straighten things out...because they're so Britishy! Right-o, smaat Americans...right-o!

Olympic Gold Winner for the Most Narcissistic of South Africa

2008-08-17T21:09:00.000-07:00

Going for the gold and proud of it:
http://www.youtube.com/user/R3NDI3R

Chinese Narcissism

2008-08-17T20:42:00.000-07:00

Olympic Gold Metal Count as of August 17, 2008

1. China
Gold Metals: 35

2. United States
Gold Metals: 19

3. Great Britain
Gold Metals: 11

The bulk number of gold metals for China have much to do with
http://www.rte.ie/sport/olympics2008/2008/0815/china2.html.

Mundane Mommie Narcissism

2008-05-12T21:28:00.001-07:00

Ode to the Quasi Bland/Stark/Hipster'ish Drab/Immature/Self Absorbed/Self Hating, Pent Up - Musty - Pastey American - Rock Star - Mommas.

Heather Armstrong of dooce.com, a mommie blogger bitching site much about nada/depressive-narcissistic parental episodes has been in the media again, now on ABC's Nightline. She claims that her site rakes in a cool 40,000 per month, while her even more lack luster hubby is gainfully unemployed and running her biz.

[Bad] literal blurbo about one's mundane and narcissistic expectations on parenting for a cool 40 thou a month. Sweet.

On NBC, Armstrong talked about how she had to eventually come to terms with the fact that people who insult her character [for whatever reason of course] had issues with themselves.

I love that excuse, it's my fave.

And speaking of which, Armstrong was the blogger that apparently got p-ode at me after my reaction to her so called analogy on nasty back yard lawns and "Turkish" people's pimply backs. Instead of learning a lesson about her own ethnic slurs and ignorance, Heather Armstrong annotated my full name, address, and contact infomation all over her site and other sites that I posted on in the past imploring people to harass me via email and what not, which many did..over a hundred in one day. Apparently she and some of her online bffs started sending emails to nanny agencies professing that I would be a bad nanny back in the day when I was a moonlighting as a nanny. Anyone care for some hypocrisy from the most overly touted, boring blog in the universe?

Dig in: http://www.dooce.com, dear intellectual Americans.

Ballsy...erm...Ovarian Narcissism

2008-03-31T10:32:00.000-07:00

Wow, I must say, I'm impressed. While there have been a multitude of spins about Heather Mills, I sure would not be surprised if Sir McCartney has a few about him which would be of course on the down low...since he's Sir McCartney. Some people are too unfortunate...whether they lose millions for thier own selfish mistakes or lose even more for thier own desperation. Make that 24 million pounds for desperation.

Ball-less Narcissism

2008-02-26T18:55:00.000-08:00

The inability to allow a woman to be a strong and intelligent leader without calling her a bitchy opportunist...that or being Tim Russert, Gloria Borger, Roland Martin, that big fat white guy who thinks he knows everything about democrats/republicans, Chris Matthews, MSNBC, and of course, CNN.

Mysogynistic Narcissism at it's best in the 21st century thus far...

2008-02-25T18:36:00.000-08:00

Mysogyny among CNN, MSNBC, and the rest of the planet in this primary is as blantant as my ass. I'm utterly stunned.

Hillary Should Get Out Now
February 25, 2008
By Jonathan Alter

If Hillary Clinton wanted a graceful exit, she'd drop out now—before the March 4 Texas and Ohio primaries—and endorse Barack Obama. This would be terrible for people like me who have been dreaming of a brokered convention for decades. For selfish reasons, I want the story to stay compelling for as long as possible, which means I'm hoping for a battle into June for every last delegate and a bloody floor fight in late August in Denver. But to withdraw this week would be the best thing imaginable for Hillary's political career. She won't, of course, and for reasons that help explain why she's in so much trouble in the first place.
Withdrawing would be stupid if Hillary had a reasonable chance to win the nomination, but she doesn't. To win, she would have to do more than reverse the tide in Texas and Ohio, where polls show Obama already even or closing fast. She would have to hold off his surge, then establish her own powerful momentum within three or four days. Without a victory of 20 points or more in both states, the delegate math is forbidding. In Pennsylvania, which votes on April 22, the Clinton campaign did not even file full delegate slates. That's how sure they were of putting Obama away on Super Tuesday.
The much-ballyhooed race for superdelegates is now nearly irrelevant. Some will be needed in Denver to put Obama over the top, just as Walter Mondale had to round up a couple dozen in 1984. But these party leaders won't determine the result. At the Austin, Texas, debate last week, Hillary agreed that the process would "sort itself out" so that the will of the people would not be reversed by superdelegates. Obama has a commanding 159 lead in pledged delegates and a lead of 925,000 in the popular vote (excluding Michigan and Florida, where neither campaigned). Closing that gap would require Hillary to win all the remaining contests by crushing margins. Any takers on her chances of doing so in, say, Mississippi and North Carolina, where African-Americans play a big role?
The pundit class hasn't been quicker to point all this out because of what happened in New Hampshire. A lot of us looked foolish by all but writing Hillary off when she lost the Iowa caucuses. As we should have known, stuff happens in politics. But that was early. The stuff that would have to happen now would be on a different order of magnitude. It's time to stop overlearning the lesson of New Hampshire.
Hillary has only one shot—for Obama to trip up so badly that he disqualifies himself. Nothing in the last 14 months suggests he will. He has made plenty of small mistakes, but we're past the point where a "likable enough" comment will turn the tide. When Obama bragged in the Austin debate about how "good" his speeches were, the boast barely registered. He has brought up his game so sharply that even a head cold and losing the health-care portion of the debate on points did nothing to derail him. Hillary's Hail Mary pass—that Obama is a plagiarist—was incomplete.
So if the Clintonites were assessing with a cold eye, they would know that the odds of Hillary's looking bad on March 4 are high. Even Bill Clinton said last week that Texas and Ohio are must-win states. If she wants to stay in anyway, one way to go is to play through to June so as to give as many people as possible a chance to express their support. While this would be contrary to the long-stated wish of many Democrats (including the Clintons) to avoid a long, divisive primary season, it's perfectly defensible.
But imagine if, instead of waiting to be marginalized or forced out, Hillary decided to defy the stereotype we have of her family? Imagine if she drew a distinction between "never quit" as it applies to fighting Kenneth Starr and the Republicans on the one hand, and fellow Democrats on the other? Imagine if she had, well, the imagination for a breathtaking act of political theater that would make her seem the epitome of grace and class and party unity, setting herself up perfectly for 2012 if Obama loses?
The conventional view is that the Clintons approach power the way hard-core gun owners approach a weapon—they'll give it up only when it's wrenched from their cold, dead fingers. When I floated this idea of her quitting, Hillary aides scoffed that it would never happen. Their Pollyanna-ish assessment of the race offered a glimpse inside the bunker. These are the same loyalists who told Hillary that she was inevitable, that experience was a winning theme, that going negative in a nice state like Iowa would work, that all Super Tuesday caucus states could be written off. The Hillary who swallowed all that will never withdraw.
But in her beautiful closing answer in the Austin debate, I glimpsed a different, more genuine, almost valedictory Hillary Clinton. She talked about the real suffering of Americans and, echoing John Edwards, said, "Whatever happens, we'll be fine." She described what "an honor" it was to be in a campaign with Barack Obama, and seemed to mean it. The choice before her is to go down ugly with a serious risk of humiliation at the polls, or to go down classy, with a real chance of redemption. Why not the latter? Besides, it would wreck the spring of all her critics in the press. If she thinks of it that way, maybe it's not such an outlandish idea after all.
Source: Newsweek

Mistaken for another Narcissist-Narcissism

2007-11-08T06:52:00.000-08:00

Apparently, George Clooney thought the photographers were taking pics of him instead of Fabio and his date. Wrong. They were all for Fabio. The full of himself narcissist [actor, shmactor] flipped off the innocent and defenseless paparazzi since he was obviously confused about how unappealing he really is to 75 percent of the rest of the world.

Anti-American Narcissist

2007-11-06T19:10:00.000-08:00

Gazele refuses to accept American money from American companies...

If it weren't for America and it's market with fashion and models, your Gazellian ass would not be where it's at.

Fattest Bastard

2007-10-30T08:49:00.000-07:00

World's richest is Mukesh Ambani: Billion-dollar decisions from a billion-dollar home
Posted Oct 29th 2007 8:14PM by Sheldon LiberFiled under: International markets, Other issues, Industry, India, Money and Finance Today, Entrepreneurs, Headline news, Tata Mtrs Ltd (TTM)
Seems the world economy is growing and changing so fast that staying on top for very long will become harder. Carlos Slim of Mexico did not retain the title very long, as CNBC is reporting Meet the World's New 'Richest Person' -- For Now, a story about Mukesh Ambani. It has been reported that he is just completing a ONE BILLION DOLLAR HOME! Here's how the Indian press reports rank the world's top five richest people as of today, based on known public stock holdings:
Mukesh Ambani - $63.2 billion
Carlos Slim Helu - $62.2993 billion
William (Bill) Gates - $62.29 billion
Warren Buffett - $55.9 billion
Lakshmi Mittal - $50.9 billion To me, this all amounts to creating headlines, since the slight difference between one, two, and three could be altered with a single day's stock movement. Given that Ambani is on the other side of the world with great fortunes in Europe and Asia it could change back and forth depending on which stock exchanges are open at the time. In a rising market you could go to sleep as the richest person in the world and wake up to find you were overtaken, only to find by the close of the market you were on top again.
What's more important is who is taking what actions. What are these supernova rich guys doing with their wealth? In the case of Gates and Buffett, they have become the world's biggest philanthropists. Carlos Slim has expressed a desire to share his wealth as well by setting up a $10 billion foundation -- I'm not sure how far he has gone with that idea. Mittal is still busy buying up all the steel production on the planet, and is now the largest player in the market. That will increase his wealth for now. On the other hand, the Hunt Brothers of Texas thought that way in the 1970s about silver, and found out rather quickly that was not their brightest idea. Steel is likely a much better bet.
Portfolio.com portrays Ambani, 50, chairman of Reliance Industries, as India's premiere capitalist, directing sprawling business operations that include petrochemicals, oil refining, textiles, retail and biotechnology. Ambani's father built Reliance up from a handful of textile mills (sound familiar Buffett followers?) into an industrial conglomerate that represents about 3% of India's $4.1 trillion economy, with annual revenue of more than $27 billion, almost as much as the better-known Tata Group.

Unlike some of the other super-billionaires, Ambani must believe charity begins at home, because he has spared no expense in his. He has chosen to live the most extravagant of lifestyles, and does not seem to mind being celebrated for it. While the family -- including Ambani's wife, Nita, who looks after Reliance's Foundation's corporate-responsibility program -- has supported many charitable organizations, Ambani must be saving his best for last, because to date all of his contributions would be through expanding economic development.

If you are a shareholder you might do well, but if you are not, you might have to wait a few more generations to be lifted out of poverty by Ambani's efforts. But, things change fast as discussed earlier, and I would like to think that upon the completion of his new living quarters, he starts to build the largest of philanthropic organizations to channel his vast and growing resources.
Nita deflects attention from her family's work in India by moving to a more global discussion, saying "I think we are making steps, but today it's important that we talk about humanity at large. I don't think it's 'India this and that,'" Nita says when asked whether India is moving in the right direction in terms of evening the disparity between rich and poor. "Look at Africa. There are huge belts of people who live on less than $1 a day. We have to address this issue, without getting into 'country.' Every one of us is responsible for all of humanity."Well certainly we all have some responsibility, but with $63 billion in assets, I would think some should be more responsible than others.

Disclosure: I have received the benefit of investing in two Indian companies -- Tata Motors Ltd (NYSE: TTM) and ICICI Bank (NYSE: IBN) -- both up substantially.

American Narcissism

2007-10-18T17:57:00.000-07:00

Google Search: "British people are ugly."

Results 1 - 10 of about 2,370,000 for british people are ugly. (0.28 seconds)

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Blacklisting Narcissism

2007-10-13T11:53:00.000-07:00

From: Debbie Beckman - Peter Insull's Crew Agency

Dear Dweebisis,

I’m afraid I cannot give you confidential information regarding our clients requirements. Just to say that at this point in time we do not have any vacancies that correspond.
You may find that the American market may regard your work profile as more familiar and that you will find options again in the US.
We wish you all the best.

Kind Regards, DEBBIE BECKMANTara Bromhead / Marjo Marcus / Kristi Karisma / Nicole Hammerton/ Natalie DalonisPETER INSULL'S CREW AGENCYLa Galerie du port8 bvd d'Aguillon06600 AntibesFRANCEtel: +33 (0)4.93.34.64.64fax: +33 (0)4.93.34.21.22www.insull.comPLEASE DO NOT SEND EMAILS EXCEEDING 1 MBPlease note that the information contained in this message is privileged and confidential. It is intended for the recipient only. If you are not the intended recipient then please contact us on the numbers above and do not divulge, store or distribute this message.

Finally, someone who is more prejudice than me and most people.

Party Hardy [Pawdy Hawdee] Narcissism

2007-10-12T19:20:00.001-07:00

Happy "Anglo-Saxon/European" narcissists partying at their jobsite. Swanky!

I'm betting this guy is South African-English...a common look that screams, "I am a dime a dozen that my eyes are so close!"

...after a charter when the cat's [owner, Peter Sperling] away.

Even if you're an unattractive version of "Dr. Christian Troy", with bad teeth and a wenis...you're still livin la vida loca, baybay..the money is just too good for these people.

...basically because they work on a charter megayacht that yields big weekly tips to even the lowest level deckhand.

Alcholism can cure all ills including money and boredom.

If these girls can be stewardesses, then I seriously need to shoot myself after shooting them.

Happy, thirty something, over paid, over amused officers and mates..amusing themselves with having slightly large vaginas. Gotta love it, hey?

Peter Sperling, owner of University of Pheonix along via his dad John Sperling, owns m/y Reverie.

Guilty Narcissism...sooner or later.

2007-07-17T07:24:00.000-07:00

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We all have a dream.